Crocs Must Die, So Your Children Don’t
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I detest Crocs (though I love me some Crocodile Dundee). Why an adult would choose to adorn their feet in brightly colored Nerf is beyond comprehension. Crocs may be the most comfortable “shoes” ever created, but if I have anything to say about it they will soon go the way of the dinosaur.
According to the official site, “Originally, Crocs Shoes were intended as a boating/outdoor shoe because of its slip-resistant, non-marking sole.” Ok, I’ll give you boating shoes — own a boat? by all means, pick up a pair — but WTF is an outdoor shoe? I don’t know about you, but I wear all of my shoes outdoors.
Until recently, I had excluded children’s Crocs from my disgust. They make perfect sense for kids — colorful, Nerf-ish, holes to insert various decorations — what’s not to like?
Oh, they’re dangerous? Children are getting caught in escalators as a result of their Crocs? You don’t say! This is excellent news. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for the kids. Having your foot swallowed by an escalator must be quite a traumatic experience, but looking past that small detail, this is great.
Perhaps now parents will place the safety of their children above their desire to look like a jackass. After all, the kids are going to want their own pair if daddy is sporting a pair of neon orange Crocs (I’m looking at you Mario Batali!).
I strongly encourage you, parents of New York City, to round up your Crocs, your children’s Crocs and your children’s friend’s Crocs and donate them to SolesUnited. They take used Crocs, recycle them and donate them to people in need. For 2008 they’ll be donating to Armenia, Cambodia, Chad, Darfur, El Salvador, Guatemala, Haiti, Honduras, Malawi, Mali, Moldova, Philippines, Romania, Swaziland, Tanzania, Thailand, Vietnam, and Zimbabwe. Hopefully these countries have fewer escalators per capita.
With any luck we can clean the streets of New York of the scourge that is Crocs together. Let’s put Crocs back where they belong — on boats, in gardens and on the Sunshine Superman.
[More Crocs Escalator Nightmares! - Gothamist]
[JFK Escalator Injury Blamed on Little Girl’s Crocs - Gothamist]
Photo courtesy of mrmanc.
It’s like you read my mind. The only problem is that when Crocs finally go away, something equally silly will swoop in behind to replace them.
I have to admit that being able to recycle footwear into more footwear is pretty cool though.
Ah, sad but true. The never-ending cycle of poor footwear fashion may never be broken. That being said, I can’t imagine something worse than Crocs.
This may speak to my lack of imagination, but a more likely explanation is that Crocs are simply the epitome of fugliness.
Recycling footwear is cool, though I’d like to see ammo for my Nerf Blaster or perhaps a football on the other end of the Crocs Recyclotron-3000.
[…] be wearing crocs. Not only are they disgustingly ugly, Crocs are injuring kids by getting them caught in escalators- there are multiple lawsuits out already. So now Crocs has decided to spread their unfashionable […]
Terry, the man pictured in this article, is a legend. Crocs become irrelevant next to his greatness.
Frankly I did not know this abomination of a picture existed. Had I known that this man had ever even imagined donning a pair of these absolutely appalling tragedies upon his feet, I would never have offered to suck his toes.
I may have to sack him until he can give me a frolicking good excuse for this inexcusable behaviour! Tho in his defence… he IS a god, and hes never committed this sin in my presence. Maybe hes cured. Maybe I cured him of ‘Crocafootitis’. Maybe he just has no taste.
As for the terminal travesty of wearing socks with (crocs)sandals… he is guilty.